What exactly is good labia love? First up it is loving ALL labia in the beautifully unique diversity of colour, size, and shape, and honestly, it is essential right now.
The fact is more than 50% of vulva owners have larger inner labia than their outer lips, even if it is just a tiny winy bit. Labia can also be asymmetrical where the left or right labium (singular lip) are different sizes. Anything and everything is normal.
More recently labia majora and minora are commonly referred to as the outer and inner labia. I totally love this! It was so misleading calling the outer labia majora as it implies the outer lips are larger, and the inner, being minora, are smaller which, is simply not the case.
This, along with influences from porn, contributes to body issues for vulva owners who have larger inner lips. Feeling uncomfortable with your vulva can lead to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, rumination, avoidance of sexual activity with self or others and disconnection from one’s beautiful body.
Something most labia owners don’t know is there have been some crazy classifications in place for M, MA and R+ (the kind we’re more likely exposed to) where showing pussies with larger inner labia, or any pink bits for that matter, are either removed via air brushing or smacked with a higher classification. Mind-blowing right?! How do labia owners know there is huge diversity if they never see it? Men don’t think their dicks all look the same, they see diversity is way more places than women do.
Labiaplasticity has been the fastest growing plastic surgery requested by women for over 10 years according to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the number of teens asking for referrals is also growing. This surgery involves removing part of the labia to make it more “aesthetically” pleasing. It can also reduce or limit the amount of pleasure experienced and may lead to pain. There are times it is important for medical reasons, however, it’s the cosmetic surgery that truly concerns me. How about more education on what is really between our legs?
On a positive note, there are some wonderful people out there doing fantastic work to shine light on the rich diversity of labia, one such place is the Labia Library which shows many vulvas both from the front and from below. The movie Embrace also went a long way in supporting women to claim their amazing bodies, vulvas included!
A simple way to give your labia good love is through touch. This practice isn’t about seeing what is there, it is about tuning into the sensations internally and feeling how the touch lands for you, if it’s pleasurable or not.
For this practice I suggest using oil or lubricant because it feels way more delicious, then begin to touch and pull your labia starting with the outer lips and moving along the whole length of the lips. Explore touch between your lips before moving touch onto your inner labia. Connecting with all parts through your awareness and touch, using curiosity to overcome judgement. You may even find pleasurable spots you’ve never enjoyed before. Allowing enough time to notice your labia become engorged, no orgasm focus needed, just curious exploration.
Lastly, here are three of my favourite vulva loving Instagram accounts that are also giving good labia love:
Labia in all of their wonderful diversity, deserve good loving, how can you give good labia love to yourself or another today?